Thursday, January 29, 2015

Enough


Even in famine they will have 
more than enough. 
Ps 37:19

Lately, I have been thinking about "enough"
and choosing to believe I have that quantity.
It applies to every area of life.
Having enough of something means that it
fully meets our demands, needs, or expectations.
If we don’t have enough, we can seek more of it
or change the way we perceive it.

It is one thing to need more of
something vital to our well being—
more rest, health, time with friends, time alone.
When we are out of balance,
we must make adjustments.
But not for the sake of more…
maybe just for the sake of wholeness.
Because “more” can be a taskmaster.
It is primarily a comparative word,
and anything which depends on comparison
ought to be handled carefully.

This past year has been a transition year that
often left me feeling like I needed more. 
Of everything.
Much of what I had known was uprooted,
and it left me feeling empty.
The only thing in abundance was darkness.
There were times I could only stare into the night,
waiting to have hope, waiting to see light.
My focus was on lack and I definitely needed time
to make some adjustments to all that happened.
During that time, He continually assured me
that His grace was enough for me.

One night I looked up and saw the moon 
as it peeked through the trees, and I thought,
that is enough of a promise for me right now.
He overcomes our own darkness
with the smallest flicker or
with the brightest flame.
Either way, it is not dark anymore.
 
And I have enough.
Enoughness is a condition that only I can define.
It says that what I have is sufficient to satisfy.
When I look ahead through a speculating lens,
there is never enough to handle all
the scenarios my mind is able to create.
Most of all, there is never enough grace.
Because grace only knows the present tense.

When I look at the past, there was always enough.
My challenge is to pull those lessons into today.
But…what about…what if?
There will always be the test of now.

I want to get better at not only living in the now,
but believing I have enough for now,
especially as it applies to grace.
When I focus on this moment
and the enoughness that it holds,
I can practice gratitude, giving, loving,
and breathing.
I am at peace.
And that is enough for me.

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