Wednesday, May 28, 2014

In Between Seasons


"To everything there is a season."

Sometimes you find yourself out of season--
the time in between when things must shift.
There is a big difference between
keeping and letting go,
searching and counting losses,
embracing and parting.
And when that shift comes,
it feels like something is wrong.
The shift can be a painful process.

It feels like everything around me
can be placed in a box called “shifting.”
The box is bulging.
And I think if one more thing
comes flying at me well, maybe,
the tears won’t stop.

I know I am not alone in this season,
but that doesn’t make it easier.
Because pain is personal.
The prescription is universal and
it is called grace.
He is moving us forward 
and the root of the word "forward"
involves the concept of turning.
To move forward we have to turn
our back on the things behind us.
Some of those things were very good.
Some of those things we wish we
had done differently.
Some of those things we could not
have done any other way.
We just wish some of it turned out differently.

We can’t help having some regret in life—
a certain sadness for things
that didn’t go like we had hoped.
That is called normal.
But to move forward,
we have to let go of those.
We have to recognize that there were times
we could have done nothing differently.
Most of the time, we did the best we could.
Even years later, when we think
we could have done better,
we are judging with a different set of eyes
and insight we didn’t have then.
We have to look back and
take the lesson forward.
Because forward is the only direction
that has any life in it.
Every day is a gift with the words
“second chance” written all over it.
We can do things differently,
because we can take our redeemed
experiences forward.
It becomes less about doing things differently
and more about being different--
in our being.

To be different, I am praying that 
I am better able to live in grace.
To see it, trust it and allow it
to run through my veins.
I want to live in the reality that includes
both regret over what did not go as hoped
and passion for what lies in this moment.
And the understanding that in this moment,
I may feel neither regret nor passion.
I may actually feel the ordinary.
But if I can learn to see the grace in it all,
then I can see this day as opportunity
to be different, to be alive,
to be loved, to love others.
The tears can come or not come.
He is in it all.
His grace is sufficient for everything.
I am moving forward.

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